Conquering My First Semester at University (To Say Very Loosely)

Dear Violet and Olivia,


I've just finished my first semester of my first year at university! It has been eventful but also very, very slow due to the online setup us students have been subjected to. My mind has been constantly occupied about the 'what if' of the non-pandemic reality. Would I have failed all my courses if my labs weren't virtual? What kind of situations would I find myself in with my friends from halls? Would I have been able to make more friends during my classes? I'm sure everybody has been thinking about this, especially those in different countries who are experiencing longer lockdown conditions. Here in New Zealand, as you might have heard either in your social studies classes or word of mouth from me, everything is pretty much back to normal. I believe we're still in level 1 of Jacinda's system, or the system has been let go of entirely. I don't really notice anymore.

My hall friends and I are still messaging online and I receive videos and photos from them almost every day on our group chats. I know they wish the rest of the floor is complete, but I can't help feeling that they're already satisfied with the majority who have already come back. Their faces look so elated that it makes me think they're truly living their best lives. I miss that quite a lot; belonging to a group of people my age and sticking together in a place far away from home. I did experience something similar when I had a sleepover with my high school friends a few weeks ago for C's birthday. But my friendship with my hall friends is one I feel a different kind of grateful for, since it's a reminder that I overcame my anxiety and never expected to form a family with a brand new set of people. The curiosity of what will happen once I move back in two weeks time takes up a majority of my mind, along with the insecurity that I will probably have to rebuild my connections with these people and boy, it'll probably be more awkward than the initial process. 

Next semester I'm taking three courses under the biomedical science degree and it's a worry that's slowly developing as time gets closer to it. A huge lesson I learned during this first semester is that I definitely got lucky with all my assessments being open book since I (and please don't follow in my footsteps) barely studied throughout the semester. With an exception to the lack of motivation quarantine has put students through, I feel like we got lucky with our assessments being open book. Personally, I got lucky that my labs were virtual and not in real life, with the basis of not doing my best in my first labs before online university began. I'm incredibly nervous for when real life university happens, especially since I learned that I wouldn't be able to get through closed book exams and laboratories without (gasp) studying and reading the pre-labs. 

I just hope that I make the most out of this three week break, but also take the time to mentally prepare myself of what's to come. Being aware of it is a good start. 

Love,
Maui

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