A Letter to my Post-Show Pessimistic Self
Dear Marian mid-West Side,
You catch yourself wondering what life would be like after the show. You think about how empty it would be, no longer having an excuse to act someone who isn't yourself. From here on in it's uni prep, uni prep, driving lessons, uni prep. I can tell you it's definitely a change from the dramatic arts. At this point you've moved on, not including the occasional trilling of 'I Have a Love' subconsciously in the shower. I guess it's a component that will stay with you, like a little puppy following your every step in those anime movies.
As you would expect too, I feel empty. I dig my head into differentiating trigonometric functions, writing about blood glucose homeostasis, and writing time series reports. The way I feel being around my friends is almost lifeless. Right before I went into biology, I occupied my interval burying my head in my notebook and chanting 'glycogen phosphorylase'. Not much makes up of our conversations anyway. It's the same old bunch of sex jokes, internal talk, and memes. If I were to contribute, it would be a lazy 'yeah, totally' or an empathetic 'oof'.
Work doesn't need me much. Whenever I come in, it's quiet enough to do my biology write-up or go on the waterslide next door. I've only been asked to come in and work 5 times within the last 10 weeks. They've hired a new girl who can do full time work, so with this lack of a flow this new addition is more than enough to not require me.
I've gotten better at driving. Last Thursday was my dad's birthday and I drove from the Church we visited to an expensive cafe out in town. I've noticed my arms don't get stiff anymore, and my stepping on the accelerator is less abrupt. I feel like I can take my test in August.
All I can say about the time being is that it may be quieter, but it gives me more time to breathe. I'm thankful about this time of peace. I need it after the storm that was West Side. Everything will be alright as long as you keep good focus.
Stay powerful and beautiful as usual,
Marian post-West Side
You catch yourself wondering what life would be like after the show. You think about how empty it would be, no longer having an excuse to act someone who isn't yourself. From here on in it's uni prep, uni prep, driving lessons, uni prep. I can tell you it's definitely a change from the dramatic arts. At this point you've moved on, not including the occasional trilling of 'I Have a Love' subconsciously in the shower. I guess it's a component that will stay with you, like a little puppy following your every step in those anime movies.
As you would expect too, I feel empty. I dig my head into differentiating trigonometric functions, writing about blood glucose homeostasis, and writing time series reports. The way I feel being around my friends is almost lifeless. Right before I went into biology, I occupied my interval burying my head in my notebook and chanting 'glycogen phosphorylase'. Not much makes up of our conversations anyway. It's the same old bunch of sex jokes, internal talk, and memes. If I were to contribute, it would be a lazy 'yeah, totally' or an empathetic 'oof'.
Work doesn't need me much. Whenever I come in, it's quiet enough to do my biology write-up or go on the waterslide next door. I've only been asked to come in and work 5 times within the last 10 weeks. They've hired a new girl who can do full time work, so with this lack of a flow this new addition is more than enough to not require me.
I've gotten better at driving. Last Thursday was my dad's birthday and I drove from the Church we visited to an expensive cafe out in town. I've noticed my arms don't get stiff anymore, and my stepping on the accelerator is less abrupt. I feel like I can take my test in August.
All I can say about the time being is that it may be quieter, but it gives me more time to breathe. I'm thankful about this time of peace. I need it after the storm that was West Side. Everything will be alright as long as you keep good focus.
Stay powerful and beautiful as usual,
Marian post-West Side
Comments
Post a Comment