Pre-Sem 2 Jitters: A Letter in Two Parts

Part I: 15/07/20

Dear Violet and Olivia,

One week from today I will be back in my dorm room after three months being at home. I've bought a bus ticket and have almost finished packing, so all that's left to do is wait, and then I'll take on my second semester from there. But I have to admit that I want this wait to be longer. 

Yes, I felt nervous for my first ever semester, but I feel like the apprehension has grown in more menace this time around. I can count the number of times I've left this house on my fingers during the three months I've spent in remote study, and it has definitely impacted my mind. The thought of restarting every single thing I had already established terrifies me. I know it will be easier now that I had laid the foundation like making friends and developing a sense of the city, but I still can't help but feel nervous. 

I absolutely admonish the adjusting period for everything. For me, especially, it takes a while for any kind of situation, ranging from a month to six. A few weeks to months to manage the anxiety, and the rest to actually figure out the physical aspects such as navigating the place and getting used to the overall 'culture'. Despite how tedious the process is I overall think it's necessary, and the benefits outweigh the costs, because at the end of the day, to quote one of my songs, 'I know I'll be thankful once it's all over//Look back and laugh and pick up my shoulders//And say, "Hey girl, breathe, and you'll be alright."' Cheesy, I know, but I'm kinda proud of those lyrics.

We'll see how we go in a week's time. For now, all I want to focus on is finishing the second season of Gilmore Girls. 

Love, 
Maui.

~~~

Part II: 22/07/20

Dear Violet and Olivia,

I'm back at my halls of residence! It feels completely surreal to be back, like I'm starting a new chapter of my life again. I arrived yesterday at around noon, and it was quite the journey I underwent just to get from the bus stop to the hall. Let me tell you the whole narrative.

I arrived from my 4-hour bus ride, having sat next to a lady who ate snacks and watched Netflix for the entire ride. My luggage consisted of a backpack, a large-sized grocery bag hauled over my shoulder, and a luggage trolley that carried my duffel bag and a large plastic duvet bag, so I was quite the spectacle to everyone I passed along the way. And to top it all off, I walked through a literal (and figurative) storm for the what felt like 5 hours worth of walking. I traversed through narrow footpaths, sharp inclines of hills, and huge traffic intersections where I had to sprint against the timers. Even the dramatic descriptions don't quite resemble how traumatizing the experience was. I even got lost here and there and had to check my phone every two meters just to see if I was going in the right direction. However, once the streets became more and more familiar, I eventually approached the final boss hill that I dreaded to climb. I had to pause about four times and felt embarrassed, especially since I trained myself on the treadmill for my last two weeks at home.

To further damage my dignity, I realized there was no ramp I could use to slide my luggage onto. What I had to do was bring my grocery bag and backpack up the stairs, go down the stairs and retrieve my luggage. Luckily, a guy was at the top of the stairs and saw me struggling, then offered to lift my luggage up the stairs with ease. Prior to helping me we actually made eye contact as I approached the building, but I took the longer route to see if there was any hope of a ramp around. I also don't know what that guy was up to just standing at the top of the stairs, but at least he offered to help eventually.

After a girl on my floor helped me on the home stretch to my room, I plonked myself onto my bed, my whole body drenched in a foul solution of sweat and rain water. I laid there for about half an hour until I mustered up the energy to take a shower. A few hours later two of my floormates/closer friends knocked on my door and we caught up with each other in the hallway. We couldn't talk for long because I desperately needed to continue my nap and they were about to study for an exam, but it was so lovely and refreshing to see their faces in real life again.

Quarantine really has changed things, but at the same time I feel like it hasn't. The chemistry I had with my floormates remained the same despite the long three months I spent away, and it feels like we picked up where we left off. I'm a little more taciturn, but it isn't too bad.

I hope the two of you never have to go through three months without seeing your friends and have your education altered, but at the same time I notice how it builds character. Nevertheless I hope history doesn't repeat itself.

Love,
Maui

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